Being that I am LDS (Mormon) and living in Utah being a single teenage mom is a little bit harder. One of the worst sins you can commit is sex before marriage, being that this is something I did I was judged pretty harshly by those in my community. I understand why I was. It only makes it worst that Nixxons father is not someone I claim, and he claims he is a virgin. Most people assumes I don't really know who it is, because I "slept with so many guys" ( which I did not I have only ever slept with Joe), or that I am trying to protect him so I dont name him. Well they are wrong. I know exactly who it is, I know exactly when I became pregnant, I am simply protecting her from a household that does not share the same values as what I want in my household. Also if her dad is legally involved in here life it makes it extremely hard for me to be sealed in the temple to her after I am married to a guy who actually wants to be her dad. If I could not be sealed to her it would absolutely break my heart because this is something I really have a testimony of.
Something else I really have a testimony of is that the Lord sends us trials to make us better people, and to humble us. Even though I was making wrong choices and was starting to head down a wrong path, becoming pregnant really changed my life for the better. My mom noticed theses changes that I was making and prayed that something would change me. It was kind of a backwards alma the younger thing (Mosiah 27, 28:1–9 and Alma 36:11–24.) Who knew pregnancy probably saved my life.
Around my junior year I was extremely depressed. I had a cutting, self harm and a small eating disorder problem few to none knew about. I would carve the words such as whore, slut, worthless, etc into my hips. If I was upset I could go with out eating for a day or two which got my down to 78 pounds at one time. But after finding out I was pregnant my life immediately changed I knew I had to be healthy to carry a baby full term and I could not let depression get the best of me.
I actually was asked in my branch to give a talk on Christ and the Atonement and I have the feeling I need to post it. It really is my testimony of how Christ helped me through one of my most difficult times of my life. As soon as Nixxon wakes up from her nap I will go get it and post it.
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