Chapter 7 Things have to end sometime..

December rolled around and it was time for the Sr ball. I could only dream I would be asked to it, but.....I didnt, which is fine I get it, it would be pretty weird going with 6 month pregnant girl. As a class officer I had to help plan it. So no matter what I had to be a small part of it no matter what. During the practices I decided I would just be the one to start and stop the music. I was sitting in the corner all by my self watching all my friends and Joe mess around and have fun. If that wasnt hard enough, I just happen to look up randomly and I see Joe and his friends looking at me, sticking their stomachs out and  making faces at me. I went to the Vice principals office after and tried to talk about it since it was harassment and I had already put up with enough crap from him that this was not even needed or mature on any level, plus I didnt want to go to school anymore it was horrible! I never really felt unwelcome there until that day.
 The vice principal called Joe in the next day and talked to him then talked to me. He said that Joe said he wasnt really doing that, they were making fun of each other and Joe felt really bad for me and I was probably just over emotional and was looking for it more than it was there....I didnt even know what to say. I knew the vice principal took his side because Joe was a X-country star, wrestling star, and a track star, of course he could not put a black mark on his record. After that I felt like not even the school was on my side, or wanted to make me feel welcome. At that point I couldnt wait to get out of there and not have to deal with this immature drama that I really did not need to deal with.
Senior ball day came around...I went to my yoga class, came home, sat around, went to a dinner party with my parents then came home and got ready. Luck for me I could get ready super fast and I actually looked really cute! I had a semiformal dress and my cute little baby bump. I got there and took a few pics with friends and then waited for the floor show to start. As all my friends started to be announced I could help my self but to cry a little. I didnt let anyone see, but it was hard seeing all these skinny girls look like princesses and me lookin like I ate too many donuts that day. The hardest was seeing Joe come out acting like he was Gods gift to man. Once again Im sittin on the side lines with his child as he gets to live out something I had waited for forever.
Then came the parent dance, my dad was nice enough to dance with me. Then the next song started and my ex boyfriend Shaun asked for a dance, he told me I looked beautiful and teased me about my baby bump getting in the way. He had been a great friend the whole time, and this made my night. Then his mom came and gave me a hug and told me I looked beautiful and missed me. It ment so much to me. I took a few more pictures then went home and went to bed.

Chapter 6. Things are starting to look up :)

A while went by and nothing from Joe. It was getting very peaceful. I was really starting to show  by 19 weeks. You could tell I was pregnant by then. Halloween finally came around and that was my first ultrasound which meant I got to find out the sex of my baby!! I was so excited! They told me to drink what was what felt like an ocean of water. I was sitting in class just drinking water all day long. Being pregnant and drinking a ton of water does NOT mix well.. you have to pee a ton anyway and adding water to that is not okay haha. By the time to got to the hospital to have the ultrasound done, my back was hurting so bad. I could not believe the pain I was in. It was the worst pain I have ever been in! They finally got me in to find out. Everything was looking good, but they couldnt get the baby to move because I had so much water in me, lucky for me she let me finally pee! that helped my back pain a little, everything on the baby was looking good, but my pain suddenly got worse. It got to the point where I had to get up and I threw up from it, but that didnt even help the pain. FINALLY she asked if I wanted to know what it was....I had thought forever that it was a boy, then that day I decided it was a girl....and Momma knows best because I was being blessed with a beautiful baby girl! I was so excited. My mom and I started to cry a little :) but it was a good cry. I was excited!

Chapter 5- Turning point

A few hours later Joes Mom and Aunt show up at my house. We assumed she wanted to talk about the meeting earlier that day. Turns out she knew nothing about it and was coming to tell us to stop telling people that it was Joes baby. We discussed things, she accused me of things, and left. We told her the same thing that if Joe didnt want to be involved he didnt have to. She said she would talk to him and get back to us.

Then one night I woke up with excruciating pain in my hip. I was so scared it was a miscarriage I ran right up to my parents and told them. We looked it up on the internet and figured it was probably just a round ligament pain. nothing too serious but we should bring it up at the doctors appointment coming up soon.

In the mean time, I went to my second doctors appointment. I told the nurse about my pain and she said that she would tell the doctor about it and figure out what it was. The Dr. came in and listened to the heart beat, then went to just walk out. I stopped him and asked about the pain. He had no idea what I was talking about. THe freaking nurse never told him. then when I explained it all over again he just looked at me and said " well im not sure what it is." HE was a HUGE help. This doctor then all of the sudden told me to get off any drugs I was on. I could not believe he had said that! He was judging me with out even knowing who I was. Yes I had dark long hair at the time, that day I wore a black T-shirt skinny jeans and my moccasins because I had morning sickness all day long and didnt feel the urge to make my self look too cute. Any way he went on to tell me that while I was pregnant I would feel very sad and depressed and want to try heroine...I was LIVID I Never had tried any kind of drug of any kind and if i was going to start now, I think I would start out with something other than heroine, but I wasnt going to start now any way with a baby inside me. He then went on to tell me that being my doctor he really should not say this but he told me anyway to give the baby up for adoption, because teen moms usually live in poverty the rest of their lives. Oh I was mad I was so sick of people not believing that I could raise a baby. I had the support of my family 100% of the way and had plans for my future. I may have gotten pregnant but that doesnt make me completely irresponsible, I mean come on I wasnt taking the easy way out of this pregnancy by abortion and covering it up. I was  taking responsibility of my actions and trying to take care of it. The way home from the doctors, my mom said maybe it was time to switch clinics. Since they couldn't even help me with my problems and judged me without even knowing my story. I was happy to! I was already being judged by everyone, I didnt need it from someone who should be helping me.

A few more weeks went on and guess what...NO word from joe. I finally texted him and said "whats your plan, are you in or out, I need to know so I cant get things figured out" He texted me back and told me to stop harassing him, and to leave him alone that we both knew it wasn't his baby and i was such a liar, oh and that he was going to get a restraining order against me because I wouldnt leave him alone... I was like WHAT THE HECK ! I had every right to be on his case about this, and I wasn't crazy I knew what was going on. He told  him to meet him at the school parking lot then and we would discuss it. So I went up and instead of coming to me, he had me come to his truck, in the heat and stand outside, when Im the one who is pregnant and ALWAYS sick. He just yelled at me in front of a few people who were still at school. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe the things he said. He told me to get out of his life, even if it was his baby he didnt want it because it would mess up his future and his name. Thats when it really hit me, that my fairy-tale wasn't coming true, he wasn't coming around, and I was going to be raising our child alone while he lived out his dreams. I finally just told him that he would be hearing from my lawyer and walked back to my car, let him drive away and I just lost it. I dont think I have ever cried so hard in my whole life. This was a complete turning point for me. And I am so glad I realize that now.