Within a month of dating Landon I was
hooked. This is a guy who seemed to like me as much as I liked him. I
trusted him. I really cared for him. In fact about two or three weeks
of being with him I may have let that lovely little L word slip. I
won't deny things with him moved along pretty fast but it felt right.
About a week after our first date I
had heard someone mention that Landon and I were together. We had not
ever actually came out and mentioned that we were together or really
told very many people that we were seeing each other. So when I heard
this I was kind of shocked. I ended up bringing it up later that day.
We both agreed that being together is something we both were very
happy with. I mean come on we were darn cute together.
He was my support system as my final
court date was coming closer. He made it so easy to talk to him about
it and have an actual conversation about my fears and thoughts about
all of it. I was so comfortable around him. I knew that I was falling
for him and falling fast and it really scared me that I would end up
heart broken all over again. I even mentioned this to him one day. I
just looked at him and said that this was scary. He asked what was.
So me being the awkward thing I am I said that we were either going
to breakup or get married. I still remember him saying, “If we play
our cards right everything is going to work out just fine”. I got a
calm feeling after that.
One night as I was telling him goodbye
for the week he was hugging me and I had this extremely strong
feeling I needed to tell him that I loved him. I fought it because it
had only been a few weeks into all of this, but not that feeling won.
He suddenly stopped hugging me and asked if something was wrong. I
just looked at him and sheepishly said, “I love you”.
“What was that?” he said
“ I love you” I repeated saying it
a little more quiet because now I was embarrassed.
This is were I figured he was about to
get in his car, and drive far away and I would never see him again
because I just scared this guy off for good now.
He grabbed me again and held me tight
and said at least we are both on the same track. Even though he
didn't say it back I knew he was falling for me too and he wasn't
going to say things that he didn't mean . That is all I needed.
Still a little embarrassed but at least he knew how I felt.
Even though we were crazy about each
other, and I wanted to show off the good looking man I now had we
made a choice. We decided to keep things about us quiet until after
court just so Joe wouldn't hear about it and change his mind about
terminating his rights. Landon was super good about understanding my
fears about that and was fine about not being too public about us.
Court was coming sooner and sooner and now I had not just one thing
to look forward on that day but I had two.
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