Then one night I woke up with excruciating pain in my hip. I was so scared it was a miscarriage I ran right up to my parents and told them. We looked it up on the internet and figured it was probably just a round ligament pain. nothing too serious but we should bring it up at the doctors appointment coming up soon.
In the mean time, I went to my second doctors appointment. I told the nurse about my pain and she said that she would tell the doctor about it and figure out what it was. The Dr. came in and listened to the heart beat, then went to just walk out. I stopped him and asked about the pain. He had no idea what I was talking about. THe freaking nurse never told him. then when I explained it all over again he just looked at me and said " well im not sure what it is." HE was a HUGE help. This doctor then all of the sudden told me to get off any drugs I was on. I could not believe he had said that! He was judging me with out even knowing who I was. Yes I had dark long hair at the time, that day I wore a black T-shirt skinny jeans and my moccasins because I had morning sickness all day long and didnt feel the urge to make my self look too cute. Any way he went on to tell me that while I was pregnant I would feel very sad and depressed and want to try heroine...I was LIVID I Never had tried any kind of drug of any kind and if i was going to start now, I think I would start out with something other than heroine, but I wasnt going to start now any way with a baby inside me. He then went on to tell me that being my doctor he really should not say this but he told me anyway to give the baby up for adoption, because teen moms usually live in poverty the rest of their lives. Oh I was mad I was so sick of people not believing that I could raise a baby. I had the support of my family 100% of the way and had plans for my future. I may have gotten pregnant but that doesnt make me completely irresponsible, I mean come on I wasnt taking the easy way out of this pregnancy by abortion and covering it up. I was taking responsibility of my actions and trying to take care of it. The way home from the doctors, my mom said maybe it was time to switch clinics. Since they couldn't even help me with my problems and judged me without even knowing my story. I was happy to! I was already being judged by everyone, I didnt need it from someone who should be helping me.
A few more weeks went on and guess what...NO word from joe. I finally texted him and said "whats your plan, are you in or out, I need to know so I cant get things figured out" He texted me back and told me to stop harassing him, and to leave him alone that we both knew it wasn't his baby and i was such a liar, oh and that he was going to get a restraining order against me because I wouldnt leave him alone... I was like WHAT THE HECK ! I had every right to be on his case about this, and I wasn't crazy I knew what was going on. He told him to meet him at the school parking lot then and we would discuss it. So I went up and instead of coming to me, he had me come to his truck, in the heat and stand outside, when Im the one who is pregnant and ALWAYS sick. He just yelled at me in front of a few people who were still at school. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe the things he said. He told me to get out of his life, even if it was his baby he didnt want it because it would mess up his future and his name. Thats when it really hit me, that my fairy-tale wasn't coming true, he wasn't coming around, and I was going to be raising our child alone while he lived out his dreams. I finally just told him that he would be hearing from my lawyer and walked back to my car, let him drive away and I just lost it. I dont think I have ever cried so hard in my whole life. This was a complete turning point for me. And I am so glad I realize that now.
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