Today I'm just super emotional. Nothing bad has happened or anything but I just want to cry. I don't know if it's just because it's "that time off the month" or what but I'm just upset.
I was a little stressed out with Nixxon today after working a 9 hour shift on my feet the whole time when I got home my brain was exhausted and I just wanted to sleep. But with my hyper active toddler it just was not going.to happen. I have my family here but they didn't need to watch her after they already had all day on top of ripping carpet out of our house. My family watches Nixxon for me all the time so I can work and I hate to make them watch her more than that because she is a handful. And she is my responsibility not theirs.
These are the times I wish my circumstances were a little different and I had a husband who could help out. Not that I want Joe involved now but any day Mr. Right could come along and step in as her father.
Still I don't know why I'm so emotional I guess I have just felt the urge to vent a little. Being a single parent is stressful and hard, but it is very rewarding and I love my Nixxon more than anything and she makes it all worth it.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Chapter 30- just one off those nights
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I feel the same sometimes. In a couple of months it'll be a year since my husband died, and I feel alone sometimes. My family helps a lot, but somethings I just have do myself. Prayer, eating right, venting, and scriptures help me so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to get out and start dating, I want to find someone to be sealed to, who will take D as his own son and we can be sealed together.
I'm also trying to get back into my career: teaching. It's nervewracking waiting to hear if interviews were successful.
Oops. Maybe I've been venting, too.
I'll be praying for you.
Oh my gosh I'm sorry about your loss. I cant imagine going through anything li ke that. Being a mom and dating is rough because a lot of guys simply don't understand that your kid comes first. I'm sure one day both of us will find an amazing guy to be sealed to.
DeleteI will be praying for you also. it's nice to hear off others in the same boat as me. your welcome to vent to me anytime :)
Thanks. We are doing better now, but D still misses his dad. I, on the other hand, can't wait to let him have it! We did not deserve his suicide. His girls miss him terribly and so does D. Even if he and I were separated, I still loved him. I would have helped him, if I had known.
DeleteNow, I'm just so mad at him sometimes.
Anyway, I need to go take a shower now. Sunday mornings just go better when I don't have to shower. Sleep tight.
This may come off random because this post is kind of old..but I just wanted to comment. First of all I want to say thank you for keeping your baby and raising her. My mom got pregnant with me when she was at BYU and I thank her constantly for keeping me and raising me. My 'sperm donor' completely skipped town when she told him and even now (at 20 years) I haven't met him. She went through countless 'joes' for 3 years. Guys who seemed to card or seemed to accept her only to disappoint her again and again. Then when I was 3 she met my dad and from day one he completely accepted us and took care of us. He legally adopted me and the 3 of us were sealed. Even after they had my 4 siblings he never once treated me different o made me feel like I wasn't his. Your Mr. Right will come. And I promise you it isn't Joe. People grow and change but not to the point of becoming new people. You will find someone who will love you and your sweet baby girl unconditionally and until then, don't you settle. I would also like to thank you for keeping your baby and raising her. I constantly thank my mom for keeping me and struggling for so long so I could have the life I've been blessed with. Thanks for your blog :)
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you thank you seriously thank you for telling me that! I have had a concern and fear of how guys will take Nixxon when we start dating. I am glad to hear it has worked well for other people because people always tell me it's not going to br that easy. Really thank you this just brought me to tears. I needed to hear that
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