The after

After going through something that was pretty traumatic,  I wanted to talk to everyone about it especially my mom. We did not feel like it was best to tell anyone though until 12 weeks just in case. It was so hard to keep that experience to myself.
I bleed for the next day pretty well. I took it super easy because I was terrified of losing the pregnancy. I had a bad feeling about everything though.
The Wednesday following my appointment we decided to go out as a family. We went to the nickel arcade. We played around for a while. It was nice to have fun and not stress about the pregnancy. After playing and getting the girls prizes we went home and made some dinner before Paisley had to go back to her mom's.
I was pretty queasy eating dinner  time and had a hard time eating. I almost just craved vinegar. We ate tacos that night my taco was basically hamburger, banana peppers and hot sauce. My queasiness got a little worse this time though. I couldn't decide if I was still cramping or if I just had some bad gas pains. I looked and Landon and told him I needed to go lay down. I got to the couch and hoped it would help. It slowly just got worse. I thought maybe a nice shower might help.
I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. As soon as I sat down my world seemed to start crashing down on top of me. I felt a gush and looked down. I basically was peeing blood. More than I had bleed the last few days. All I could do was yell for Landon.
He came running in and seen what was going on. He just held me. He also told me that I needed to try to calm down. I felt like that was impossible to do at this moment. He told me I needed to calm down in case I wasn't actually having a miscarriage. Holding on the the small amount of hope that this was a freak thing and not the end of my pregnancy was the only reason I could slightly calm down. There was nothing I could do to change it and being so upset could only make it so much worse.  Landon took care of me the rest of the night. Unfortunately he had to work the next morning, as did I. When I woke up I was still bleeding a little bit. Landon asked me to call my boss and take the next 2 days off and let my body rest until we knew what was going on for sure.
My shift starts at 615 am so I had to call my boss and wake him up. I explained what  was going on. He asked me to go into work until my replacement could get there. I got Nixxon up and we pretty much went in our pjs. I had no desire to get ready I was at a complete loss. 
As soon as I clocked in my replacement walked in. I was so glad because I just wanted to be home. We went home and went back to bed.
I called my doctor as soon as they opened. They got me an appointment to have my blood drown and to check my levels. This was an appointment I really wanted Landon at but he was at work. Nixxon had to be my little rock just to have my blood drawn.
Until I knew for sure I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I was never planning on this pregnancy I was on birth control. I was absolutely not prepared mentally, physically, financially to be pregnant or bring a baby into the world. This baby was not supposed to be conceived then statistically shouldn't have survived after what it went through with the iud removal. I got a phone call from the doctors office a while later telling me that my levels were still growing. My little miracle baby was doing okay and was going to be Okay.
I prayed so hard to my Heavenly Father to not let me loose my baby and I sure prayed after thanking him for giving me the chance to continue to grow this little human. Landon and I were so ready to have this little one now.