The after

After going through something that was pretty traumatic,  I wanted to talk to everyone about it especially my mom. We did not feel like it was best to tell anyone though until 12 weeks just in case. It was so hard to keep that experience to myself.
I bleed for the next day pretty well. I took it super easy because I was terrified of losing the pregnancy. I had a bad feeling about everything though.
The Wednesday following my appointment we decided to go out as a family. We went to the nickel arcade. We played around for a while. It was nice to have fun and not stress about the pregnancy. After playing and getting the girls prizes we went home and made some dinner before Paisley had to go back to her mom's.
I was pretty queasy eating dinner  time and had a hard time eating. I almost just craved vinegar. We ate tacos that night my taco was basically hamburger, banana peppers and hot sauce. My queasiness got a little worse this time though. I couldn't decide if I was still cramping or if I just had some bad gas pains. I looked and Landon and told him I needed to go lay down. I got to the couch and hoped it would help. It slowly just got worse. I thought maybe a nice shower might help.
I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. As soon as I sat down my world seemed to start crashing down on top of me. I felt a gush and looked down. I basically was peeing blood. More than I had bleed the last few days. All I could do was yell for Landon.
He came running in and seen what was going on. He just held me. He also told me that I needed to try to calm down. I felt like that was impossible to do at this moment. He told me I needed to calm down in case I wasn't actually having a miscarriage. Holding on the the small amount of hope that this was a freak thing and not the end of my pregnancy was the only reason I could slightly calm down. There was nothing I could do to change it and being so upset could only make it so much worse.  Landon took care of me the rest of the night. Unfortunately he had to work the next morning, as did I. When I woke up I was still bleeding a little bit. Landon asked me to call my boss and take the next 2 days off and let my body rest until we knew what was going on for sure.
My shift starts at 615 am so I had to call my boss and wake him up. I explained what  was going on. He asked me to go into work until my replacement could get there. I got Nixxon up and we pretty much went in our pjs. I had no desire to get ready I was at a complete loss. 
As soon as I clocked in my replacement walked in. I was so glad because I just wanted to be home. We went home and went back to bed.
I called my doctor as soon as they opened. They got me an appointment to have my blood drown and to check my levels. This was an appointment I really wanted Landon at but he was at work. Nixxon had to be my little rock just to have my blood drawn.
Until I knew for sure I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I was never planning on this pregnancy I was on birth control. I was absolutely not prepared mentally, physically, financially to be pregnant or bring a baby into the world. This baby was not supposed to be conceived then statistically shouldn't have survived after what it went through with the iud removal. I got a phone call from the doctors office a while later telling me that my levels were still growing. My little miracle baby was doing okay and was going to be Okay.
I prayed so hard to my Heavenly Father to not let me loose my baby and I sure prayed after thanking him for giving me the chance to continue to grow this little human. Landon and I were so ready to have this little one now.

First Prenatal Appointment

The next day after telling Landon that I was pregnant I was calling to schedule a doctor's appointment because having an Iud and being pregnant is risky. We were not planning on a baby yet at all, but we were so excited! We had only known for a day but we were already so attached to this little squish growing inside me. We were also so terrified. I was so anxious to get into a doctor and make sure everything was okay so far and to get the iud out of me.

I was so in love with my ob that took care of me with Nixxon. The bad part about him is that I had just been told that he was moving in a few months so like halfway through my pregnancy I would have to switch doctors. I knew I needed to get in soon and I trusted him with how delicate of a situation in was in. I called to schedule an appointment and they informed me that he was completely booked out for a few weeks. When I told them my situation they were kinda like I don't know what to tell you. I ended up scheduling an appointment for a few weeks out but once I told Landon when I was  I had a bad feeling about waiting that long, so did he. He suggested that we call the doctor that delivered his daughter. I figured if they could get me in sooner than we should try.
He called them and explained everything. They were able to get me in within a few days. They acted concerned for me and fit me into their schedule. They said that they couldn't fit me in with the doctor but could with her assistant who could remove the iud. I was fine with that.

Waiting those few days was miserable. I just wanted to know if my baby was okay. Once the day finally came I was so ready and terrified at the same time.

Once I got there they got me set up for an ultra sound. They brought in some scary looking instruments to use too.
I was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen. They got the ultra sound going and we could see the tiny little baby. There was a fetal pole too! Baby was good, so far but unfortunately they iud was very close to the baby. They had me about 4.5 weeks along. And the measurements were perfect.
Then it came time for the iud removal. I remembered getting that sucker in and it hurt so bad so I could only imagine getting it out.

Before the nurse practitioner( I think is her title) started the removal she explained that there was a very good chance I would loose this pregnancy because they were messing around so close to the baby. She told me that I had to have it out though, or I would loose the pregnancy for sure. They asked me if I was ready to start so we did.

She put her medical instruments in me and started to tug a little on the iud strings. We could see everything still from the ultra sound. Every time she tugged on the strings my whole uterus pulled with it. She looked at me and told me that it was worse than just a pregnancy with and iud, the iud had implanted.  When she would pinch the strings to start pulling she said she xpuld feel her pinching tissue. ZShe asked me what kind of iud I had and when I told her it was the skyla she told me this was the 2nd pregnancy she had seen on it.
She told me she would keep working on getting it out. She kept pulling and pulling. It was pretty uncomfortable. I ended up starting to cry mostly because I was not ready to watch the screen and watch me loose my baby. It would be one thing to loose the baby, but having to see the baby get pulled too hard the wrong way and just be gone would be traumatizing for Landon and I. I mostly kept my eyes on Landon. He just kept looking down at me and I could tell he was just as scared as I was. He kept rubbing my head and holding my hand. At one point he was pretty emotional and mouthed "I love you so much". He was definitely my rock at that point. I couldn't have handled the stress of it all without  him by my side.

After pulling on the strings for about 15 minutes they bottom part of the iud broke so she had no strings to pull on any more. She had to pull directly on the iud. Which was great since she was already getting tissue with it.

She kept telling me that if the pain got too bad that we could get it surgically removed. I wanted to avoid that option since it probably would be more of a risk.  I told her just to keep trying until she felt like there was no hope.  She ended up pulling and tugging on that iud and my tender uterus for close to a half hour. That half hour felt like forever.

Suddenly I heard her say " There we go!" I really didn't feel anything. Which was a relief. Next we needed to check the baby out again to see if pulling on it effected the baby. As the ultrasound tech looked at the measurements and they baby we got great news! There was still a baby! I was elated to hear and see that. She did notice the measurements were a little smaller now then they were before. She told us it could be nothing but we may have torn the sac so we would just have a wait and see. They explained that I was going to bleed for a day or two but if it got bad that I was probably having a miscarriage but nothing could be done for it. She told me I now had like a 50% more chance of loosing the pregnancy.
I walked out of their so relived that up to that points everything was okay.  I was just so nervous for the next few days. I prayed and prayed that  the baby would be fine.