Things between Joe and me seemed calm for a while. I figured he was going to stay away from Nixxon and me for a while since deciding to completely step out of the picture. My life had found a calm I had not had for almost three years. I had Nixxon who was healthy, energetic, and a joy to be around. I had a wonderful boyfriend who helped show me more happiness than I have had in such a long time.
Not too long after everything with Joe I got a message from Joe’s brother- in- law {C}.
{C} Thank you for unblocking me.. {L} and i would love it if ever wanted our kids to meet eachother.. i know you don't have to or anything like that.. we see you around town and think about coming up to talk with you in person but we dont want to make you uncomfortable or anything like that..i have went through the same type of thing you are going through only i was the child if you ever want to talk i would be here to talk to you about anything..thanks for your time.
{M} I appreciate the fact that you guys would like to meet Nixxon, but I feel like after everything that has happened that has happened that Nixxon and I need to just move on with our lives. I feel like it would do more harm than good to Nixxon if she was to have a relationship with you guys and not joe. This is what I feel is best for Nixxon and I have to do is best for her as her mom.
{C}I see your concern...i dont agree with the way joe handled anything. I tried giving him advice and obviously he didn't listen to anything i have said .... {L} would really love a chance to at least talk with you about it and maybe we could just tell our kids they are just friends, then later if you decide its going good you could say they are cousins. ... it would be nice for us to prove to you how sorry we are for everything and we would never cause harm....i know you have thought it through already but please think more about it thank you for talking with me
{M} Im sorry but thIs is something I have thought about long before court even happened but I feel it is best if all ties are cut. It is not because I have bad feeling towards any of you but I feel like Nixxon shouldn't really know them until she is a lot older and understands everything that has happened.
{C}Is there anything we could do to change that?
{M} No I think this is what is best for Nixxon.
{C} K thank you if you change you mind we will be there for you
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I got a lot of backlash from relatives and others about this. What they didn't understand is that I wasn't going to let them meet just because I was mad at the family or because I don’t want Nixxon to know her “cousins”. I felt this was in Nixxons best interest. I did not want to lie to her and call them “friends” for a while because I do not plan on lying to Nixxon about anything that has happened. I strongly felt like closing the door between us and Joe’s family was the best thing. It would be hard for Nixxon to one day realize that her “dad” had been a great uncle to her cousins but had only met her once, and willingly walked away again. That would bother me if I was in her shoes. I felt like cutting all ties was going to give all of us more closure.
I had been upset with Joe’s family for a long time, until I realized that all they were doing was standing up for their son, brother, cousin, friend. Just like my family and friends had done. Joe’s family did not deserve me to be upset with them. Joe was the one who lied to them. Joe was the one at fault.
I really did appreciate the fact that once that they did know the truth that they did want to meet Nixxon and have a relationship with her. I probably would want the same thing in their shoes. I just really felt like we all just needed to accept what had happened and move on.
I had no doubt that one day Nixxon would have a real dad. She would have a real family on her dad’s side. I don’t feel like I was holding her back from a family. I knew she was going to have a family one day who accepted her as their own even though she wasn't.
I really do feel bad for Joe’s family. They didn't necessarily choose to deny Nixxon for two years knowingly. Joe made that choice and it didn't just affect him, me, and Nixxon but it affected his whole family. I understand they tried to talk him out of his choice but I had to do what was best for my daughter and I. It was not really an easy choice to make because I did feel bad but I knew what was best for our future.
It bothered though that Joe’s sister and brother in law were contacting me every once in a while so I decided I needed to text Joe and ask him to talk to his family. It was annoying to just get into a good place then be bothered by them. I just wanted to be done with it all. When I messaged Joe about everything he said he had no idea and most of his family had felt we needed to all keep our distance a little. Joe said that he would talk to them and apologized for them.
My mom was talking to one of their families close friend and it turns out {C} and {L} have been pushed out of the family a little bit. Instead of moving on they decided to push the issue and Joe’s family was not okay with that. I guess they only really talk now is because of the grand kids. It is nice to know everyone else feels the same that it is time to move on and forward with our lives and to stop dwelling on the past.
