So last night Joe had the guts to text me. I mean honestly its been 19 months almost since we have talked. You would think if I haven't responded to any texts by now that I'm not going to start. The first text said "hey" then the next one said "sorry is this myranda". If he wants to talk he better be a man and come to my door. I'm not doing any communication with him over a text message. My mind had been thinking about it all day long. Every time he texts me my mind starts to reflect on the good times we use to have and how nice it would be a real family. But then I remember how I found out that right after I told him I was pregnant he was telling his ex-girlfriend how he loved her and that I was going to blame him for it. Also was taking a younger girl out parking, and starting something with another girl. Also how I was never happy around him. He always seemed to make me feel like I was so worthless, and no one would ever want me except him. I don't think I could ever trust him again.
How can you trust someone who completely abandoned you at a time you needed them the most. I needed him the day I quit my dance team, the day I gave my team a good bye speech and danced my last dance. He was not there when I had extreme morning sickness and sat over my toilet and just cried. He wasn't there when I started to show and was being made fun of at school. He wasn't there for me ever. I deserved it all but didn't he also? He got me pregnant it's just as much his fault as it was mine. But worst of all he abandoned a sweet innocent baby for no good reason, my baby girl never did anything to him to deserve what he did to her. He wasn't there to hear his child's first heartbeat, find out the gender or there for het birth. He wasn't there when I named her, when I brought her home. He wasn't there when she first rolled over, when she sat up, when she crawled and now he isn't here when she runs over to give me a love. He does not deserve her. He never will. He could have been here but decided his good name was more important than stepping up to the plate and raising his child. My daughter deserves a dad now who isn't her biological dad, but one who loves her as his own, one who takes the time to help her learn, one who will provide for her, one who will step up to the plate the first time.
So now I wonder if the chance ever came up, does he deserve to know his daughter, or has he missed his chance? As for now I think he missed his chance. 19 months is a long time to drive 2 blocks away from his new girlfriends house and meet his daughter, but he hasn't. I think now Nixxon and I will be fine with out him and wait for a real dad to come along. <3
Monday, January 28, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Chapter 13- let's just start a little drama now?
So a few weeks ago we had a little "Tiff" with Joes mom. We had gone to my little sisters volleyball game. We knew joes family would be there so we left Nix with my grandma. After the game we started to leave and I seen joes mom, Ann, start walking towards me so I turned the other way and under my breath said "oh shoot". She then walked to my mom and tapped her shoulder, my mom thought it was me and ignored it so she tapped her again so my mom turned around and see Ann to her dismay.here is how it went down
Ann: so I hear you want to kick me!
My mom: Kick you?
A: ya someone told me that you want to kick me, so here I am here is your chance ( as she is waving her arms around)
Me: uh we were talking about hair extensions actually
M: uh, no we were talking about hair extensions, did you want some?
A: well no
M: k them bug off( and turns back around to tell my sisters we are going now)
Ann then grabs my moms arm and flips her back around.
A: we need to resolve this once and for all
M: resolve what?
A: the baby
Then my sister hops between them and yells stop she is ours not yours!
Ann then grabs my sisters hand and throws it down.
My sis: Don't you ever touch me again!
We then all start heading to the door to leave as Ann is chasing behind us screaming
Then Ann goes off about my due date being off by a month so a must be lying. My conception date was July 4 And my due date was march 26 and if you count 9 months on your fingers then it doesn't come up a month short but put it in online and at a doctors office and its exact. So I told her that then she goes off about how hard it is for joe to come home every weekend from school because everyone always asks about the baby and the church won't let him go on a mission and won't let him do anything because they don't trust him. So I got up close to her face And aid " don't you dare tell me he can't do anything in the church because he got to graduate from seminary and I did not get to because of your son so don't even start with that."
A: well uh everyone keeps saying you keep saying that he(which she keeps referring to Nixxon as a boy) looks just like joe, how would you know what joe looked like as a baby he was a toe head!
Me: it's not what he looked like as a baby it's what he looks like now.
Then goes off about its so hard and if Nixxon is joes then she wants to get to know her and have joe involved.
I got in her face and told her that she missed that boat. She had 18 Months to get involved and that I was going to find Nixxon a real father not one who runs away when it gets rough
She was nooooot happy about that, so then she started talking to my dad and my mom kept trying to talk but Ann kept putting her hand in my moms face and saying this doesn't concern you.
By this point I am LIVID ! First of all she is screaming at my family in a very public place second it is freezing out side third she is yelling at my parents so I got back in her face and told her "don't you dare talk to my parents that way, I am Nixxons mother not them, if you want something you go through me! She was upset and just walked off.
Since then I have been on lock down with Nixxon. No Facebook no Instagram, it's so hard hiding this beautiful little girl from the world. I know I am doing it for the right reasons but its still so hard.
Ann: so I hear you want to kick me!
My mom: Kick you?
A: ya someone told me that you want to kick me, so here I am here is your chance ( as she is waving her arms around)
Me: uh we were talking about hair extensions actually
M: uh, no we were talking about hair extensions, did you want some?
A: well no
M: k them bug off( and turns back around to tell my sisters we are going now)
Ann then grabs my moms arm and flips her back around.
A: we need to resolve this once and for all
M: resolve what?
A: the baby
Then my sister hops between them and yells stop she is ours not yours!
Ann then grabs my sisters hand and throws it down.
My sis: Don't you ever touch me again!
We then all start heading to the door to leave as Ann is chasing behind us screaming
Then Ann goes off about my due date being off by a month so a must be lying. My conception date was July 4 And my due date was march 26 and if you count 9 months on your fingers then it doesn't come up a month short but put it in online and at a doctors office and its exact. So I told her that then she goes off about how hard it is for joe to come home every weekend from school because everyone always asks about the baby and the church won't let him go on a mission and won't let him do anything because they don't trust him. So I got up close to her face And aid " don't you dare tell me he can't do anything in the church because he got to graduate from seminary and I did not get to because of your son so don't even start with that."
A: well uh everyone keeps saying you keep saying that he(which she keeps referring to Nixxon as a boy) looks just like joe, how would you know what joe looked like as a baby he was a toe head!
Me: it's not what he looked like as a baby it's what he looks like now.
Then goes off about its so hard and if Nixxon is joes then she wants to get to know her and have joe involved.
I got in her face and told her that she missed that boat. She had 18 Months to get involved and that I was going to find Nixxon a real father not one who runs away when it gets rough
She was nooooot happy about that, so then she started talking to my dad and my mom kept trying to talk but Ann kept putting her hand in my moms face and saying this doesn't concern you.
By this point I am LIVID ! First of all she is screaming at my family in a very public place second it is freezing out side third she is yelling at my parents so I got back in her face and told her "don't you dare talk to my parents that way, I am Nixxons mother not them, if you want something you go through me! She was upset and just walked off.
Since then I have been on lock down with Nixxon. No Facebook no Instagram, it's so hard hiding this beautiful little girl from the world. I know I am doing it for the right reasons but its still so hard.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Chapter 12:My baby girl is growing up, Life is catching up to me, and I have a new man.
WOW time has flown by! Little Nixxon is 7 months old now. Basically she is super stinkin cute, spoiled, and smart. She has been crawling for over a month now. She is figuring out how to crawl up to things and to pull herself up and stand. This makes me super sad to see her grow up too fast. The doctor is super impressed with how advanced she is. I am pretty sure I will have a little walking baby by Christmas.
As for her "dad" ( if you even can call him that) Has moved like 3 hours away to college. I thought that would be awesome and I wouldnt see him anymore but NO. He texts me the stupidest texts like once or twice a month. Like " Hey is this Myranda?" or "Hey" or " I know its late but if you could just call me or text me when you get a minute that would be great lol". Honestly why on this green earth would I even want to text him. I want NOTHING to do with him. He may be the "father" of my baby but just because he helped make the baby does not give him a right to be with her. I can find a guy who will love her because he just does and doesnt have to.
Speaking of such. I started to date a really nice kid. We got along great and had a lot of fun together. We spent 3-4 months together and I loved every minute of it. He acted like he could have been Nixxons real dad. He was only Sr. in high school too so I was super impressed of how he acted with the both of us. Most Sr.'s are pretty freaked out by girls who have babies but he never let that get in the way. Just about a week ago we decided to end things. We ended it all on good terms and we are still good friends. He wanted to get ready to serve a church mission as soon as he graduates. I understood why he thought we should end things and respect his choice. Some days are harder than others but we both figure if we are meant to be then things will work out when he gets back if not there is someone else out there for us so we will be okay.
I also am working a part time job to help with the bills and such. I am also starting a nursing program here soon to get my foot into the medical field. It does suck to be away from my baby so much but I know I am doing it all for good reasons and will help in the long run.
As for her "dad" ( if you even can call him that) Has moved like 3 hours away to college. I thought that would be awesome and I wouldnt see him anymore but NO. He texts me the stupidest texts like once or twice a month. Like " Hey is this Myranda?" or "Hey" or " I know its late but if you could just call me or text me when you get a minute that would be great lol". Honestly why on this green earth would I even want to text him. I want NOTHING to do with him. He may be the "father" of my baby but just because he helped make the baby does not give him a right to be with her. I can find a guy who will love her because he just does and doesnt have to.
Speaking of such. I started to date a really nice kid. We got along great and had a lot of fun together. We spent 3-4 months together and I loved every minute of it. He acted like he could have been Nixxons real dad. He was only Sr. in high school too so I was super impressed of how he acted with the both of us. Most Sr.'s are pretty freaked out by girls who have babies but he never let that get in the way. Just about a week ago we decided to end things. We ended it all on good terms and we are still good friends. He wanted to get ready to serve a church mission as soon as he graduates. I understood why he thought we should end things and respect his choice. Some days are harder than others but we both figure if we are meant to be then things will work out when he gets back if not there is someone else out there for us so we will be okay.
I also am working a part time job to help with the bills and such. I am also starting a nursing program here soon to get my foot into the medical field. It does suck to be away from my baby so much but I know I am doing it all for good reasons and will help in the long run.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Chapter 11:Welcome to the World Baby Girl!
I got into my room and it was a nice room. I had no idea anything that was going to happen other than the fact that I was going to be pushing a baby out of me in the next while. They put a monitor on my stomach, just to make sure this wasn't a false labor. Well, It wasn't, it was legit. They then put an IV into my wrist, like on the side which hurt like a son of a gun! Then we just kinda chilled for a little while.
My mom and dad had been there from the get go. Then a few hours later my sisters showed up at about 4 am. Then my Grandma showed up at like 5 am. My contractions didn't really hurt that bad, and by about 5 am I had dilated to like a 9 so I was going pretty fast for a first timer. My contractions got a little worse but I could handle it, they just were so close that I didn't have recovery time between them, but then the nurses came in and said that I was going so fast that if I wanted an epidural that I needed to get it then or I might not have a chance to. This was pretty much the only part of the whole labor that I actually cried. I was petrified of this large needle and tube going into my back. My mom sat with me and calmed me down. My sisters wanted to stay and see, but I knew this would scar them for life if they had to witness that large of a needle into me, so I wouldn't let them.
When the anesthesiologist came, I did know him and I told him how freaked out I was about this. I think he could see how scared I was because I was still shaking so bad. And those shakes hurt pretty bad they were so violent. Any who, he said he would be as gentle as he could and would walk me through the whole thing. He numbed the skin, which wasn't bad at all then suddenly he was done. I felt the tube go in my back but it didn't hurt at all I was totally shocked. To me a flu shot hurt worse than an epidural did.
Right after my epidural, my shaking stopped...well at least on the lower half of me, my arms still shook a little but that helped me to calm down and rest a little. The feeling of not feeling my legs was soooo weird. But I couldn't feel any pain so it was nice.
The nurses kept coming in and checking me. I was going super fast. By about 7 am I had fully dilated. They said they would call the doctor and get him there. They came back in and said that he would be there within the hour. I waited and umm waited and you know waited a little more. It was like 9 before he got there. He came in and checked me out and was like oh your water hasn't broke we will wait for it to naturally break. So we waited..and waited and it like sorta broke but not very much. Then suddenly I had a lot of pressure and felt like I needed to push, we got the nurses and doctor in there, They said I was super close they just needed to break my water, so they did and it wasn't bad at all. Then they prepped everything and explain how this whole birthing thing was going to go on.
The doctor got going and said oh good we will have this baby here within the hour. I was so excited. But he lied it took almost 2 hours to get my baby here. First off her poor little head kept getting stuck on my pelvic bone and I kept passing out a little so I had to be put on oxygen after each contraction. The doctor had been with me so long that he decided to take a break and leave for a minute but I kept pushing. The second he walked back into the door he just yelled "STOP!" ha I could feel the baby like 3 seconds away from being here so I was not stoping! He barely made it to the bed just to catch her. He didn't even have time to put his gloves on.
Before I had time to comprehend that I just gave birth they handed her to me. She looked just as I expected but completely different all at the same time. She was beautiful. I cried the second they put her in my arms. I had never been in so much love. They took her over to check her out and they asked me about her name. I had 3 names on my list Autrie, Hudson, and Nixxon. I knew her name had to be Nixxon when I saw her. She was as unique as her name.
She was healthy and perfect the only thing wrong was that she weighed a lot more than he had expected.. Nixxon was 6.7 Ibs, 19.75 inches long...which he was positive that she would be just above 5 Ibs and tiny... NOPE my baby was a big baby for my family. All my sisters and myself were tiny. I was 5.6my sister was 5.4 and my youngest was 5.2. Now I am 4'10 and normally like 83 Ibs so that big of a baby for me blew every one away.
My family loved Nixxon from the start she was defiantly going to be spoiled from the minute they saw her :)
My mom and dad had been there from the get go. Then a few hours later my sisters showed up at about 4 am. Then my Grandma showed up at like 5 am. My contractions didn't really hurt that bad, and by about 5 am I had dilated to like a 9 so I was going pretty fast for a first timer. My contractions got a little worse but I could handle it, they just were so close that I didn't have recovery time between them, but then the nurses came in and said that I was going so fast that if I wanted an epidural that I needed to get it then or I might not have a chance to. This was pretty much the only part of the whole labor that I actually cried. I was petrified of this large needle and tube going into my back. My mom sat with me and calmed me down. My sisters wanted to stay and see, but I knew this would scar them for life if they had to witness that large of a needle into me, so I wouldn't let them.
When the anesthesiologist came, I did know him and I told him how freaked out I was about this. I think he could see how scared I was because I was still shaking so bad. And those shakes hurt pretty bad they were so violent. Any who, he said he would be as gentle as he could and would walk me through the whole thing. He numbed the skin, which wasn't bad at all then suddenly he was done. I felt the tube go in my back but it didn't hurt at all I was totally shocked. To me a flu shot hurt worse than an epidural did.
Right after my epidural, my shaking stopped...well at least on the lower half of me, my arms still shook a little but that helped me to calm down and rest a little. The feeling of not feeling my legs was soooo weird. But I couldn't feel any pain so it was nice.
The nurses kept coming in and checking me. I was going super fast. By about 7 am I had fully dilated. They said they would call the doctor and get him there. They came back in and said that he would be there within the hour. I waited and umm waited and you know waited a little more. It was like 9 before he got there. He came in and checked me out and was like oh your water hasn't broke we will wait for it to naturally break. So we waited..and waited and it like sorta broke but not very much. Then suddenly I had a lot of pressure and felt like I needed to push, we got the nurses and doctor in there, They said I was super close they just needed to break my water, so they did and it wasn't bad at all. Then they prepped everything and explain how this whole birthing thing was going to go on.
The doctor got going and said oh good we will have this baby here within the hour. I was so excited. But he lied it took almost 2 hours to get my baby here. First off her poor little head kept getting stuck on my pelvic bone and I kept passing out a little so I had to be put on oxygen after each contraction. The doctor had been with me so long that he decided to take a break and leave for a minute but I kept pushing. The second he walked back into the door he just yelled "STOP!" ha I could feel the baby like 3 seconds away from being here so I was not stoping! He barely made it to the bed just to catch her. He didn't even have time to put his gloves on.
Before I had time to comprehend that I just gave birth they handed her to me. She looked just as I expected but completely different all at the same time. She was beautiful. I cried the second they put her in my arms. I had never been in so much love. They took her over to check her out and they asked me about her name. I had 3 names on my list Autrie, Hudson, and Nixxon. I knew her name had to be Nixxon when I saw her. She was as unique as her name.
She was healthy and perfect the only thing wrong was that she weighed a lot more than he had expected.. Nixxon was 6.7 Ibs, 19.75 inches long...which he was positive that she would be just above 5 Ibs and tiny... NOPE my baby was a big baby for my family. All my sisters and myself were tiny. I was 5.6my sister was 5.4 and my youngest was 5.2. Now I am 4'10 and normally like 83 Ibs so that big of a baby for me blew every one away.
My family loved Nixxon from the start she was defiantly going to be spoiled from the minute they saw her :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Chapter 10 Someone is on their way :)
It finally got down to that last week of the pregnancy. I was due March 26 2012, and that whole week I thought EVERY little pain was a labor pain. I would start timing every time something small happened just to see if it was a contraction, but it never really was anything.
On March 24 I went to watch my sister play in a softball tourney. Since I live in a very small down, everyone knows everyone, and knows everything about everyone. Everyone kept saying things like aren't you due today? I had to keep telling them nope I have 2 more days... or there was the whole "still no baby?" I was honestly about ready so answer someone by saying "oh ya she came last night but I am just playing kangaroo and keeping her in my pouch" I was a little on edge.
Then one of my moms good friends kept teasing me that when your face swells that is when you know the baby is coming. Just to add to it she kept telling me that my lips looked huge (they did in fact) I thought she would for sure be coming in about a week.
After the games I was able to just go home and rest. The whole rest of the night I felt sick. I was sure is was just from being in the sun all day long, and not drinking enough water. I went to bed about 9 p.m. At about 11:30 p.m. I felt a really weird pain in my hips, and was pretty sure it was just my ligaments being pulled by the way I was sleeping. So I got up and walked around and went to the bathroom. For some odd reason I looked in the toilet before I peed (weird I know ) but I seen a weird looking thing floating and thought Oh my gosh is that my plug, then figured it wasnt then just tried to go back to sleep, but the pain just wouldnt go away. So I thought I better go to a hospital. I walked into my parents room and quietly said "mom, dad" but they never heard me, so I grabbed my moms foot and said mom a little louder. She sat up and asked what was wrong. I told her I was in pain but didnt know if i was in labor or not. My dad shot straight out of bed and kinda panicked a little we started to time the pains and they were about 7 minutes apart so my mom said to hurry and get cleaned up a little and I was ready to go to the hospital because my contractions were so close together. When she said that I got soo freaked out that I was shaking so bad I looked like I was having a seizure but it was just because I was probably having a small panic attack.
We live like 3 blocks from the hospital so I got there super quick. We walked into the ER and they asked what was wrong and my mom answered "I think we are going to have a baby" then they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me down to room 32 Labor and delivery. Here it went :)
On March 24 I went to watch my sister play in a softball tourney. Since I live in a very small down, everyone knows everyone, and knows everything about everyone. Everyone kept saying things like aren't you due today? I had to keep telling them nope I have 2 more days... or there was the whole "still no baby?" I was honestly about ready so answer someone by saying "oh ya she came last night but I am just playing kangaroo and keeping her in my pouch" I was a little on edge.
Then one of my moms good friends kept teasing me that when your face swells that is when you know the baby is coming. Just to add to it she kept telling me that my lips looked huge (they did in fact) I thought she would for sure be coming in about a week.
After the games I was able to just go home and rest. The whole rest of the night I felt sick. I was sure is was just from being in the sun all day long, and not drinking enough water. I went to bed about 9 p.m. At about 11:30 p.m. I felt a really weird pain in my hips, and was pretty sure it was just my ligaments being pulled by the way I was sleeping. So I got up and walked around and went to the bathroom. For some odd reason I looked in the toilet before I peed (weird I know ) but I seen a weird looking thing floating and thought Oh my gosh is that my plug, then figured it wasnt then just tried to go back to sleep, but the pain just wouldnt go away. So I thought I better go to a hospital. I walked into my parents room and quietly said "mom, dad" but they never heard me, so I grabbed my moms foot and said mom a little louder. She sat up and asked what was wrong. I told her I was in pain but didnt know if i was in labor or not. My dad shot straight out of bed and kinda panicked a little we started to time the pains and they were about 7 minutes apart so my mom said to hurry and get cleaned up a little and I was ready to go to the hospital because my contractions were so close together. When she said that I got soo freaked out that I was shaking so bad I looked like I was having a seizure but it was just because I was probably having a small panic attack.
We live like 3 blocks from the hospital so I got there super quick. We walked into the ER and they asked what was wrong and my mom answered "I think we are going to have a baby" then they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me down to room 32 Labor and delivery. Here it went :)
Chapter 9 the countdown begins!
Since my Baby Girl was due in March I had a few months on my hands just to rest and get ready for this bundle of joy. I was too pregnant to get a job, so I volunteered at a local kindergarten class, and pretty much sat home all day long. Some days I cleaned the house, or just slept. I mostly slept because being that pregnant sucks the life out of you!
Soon the weeks started to count down, then the weeks, then the days. Me being super freaked out by needles or pain of any kind the thought of labor put me into tears and a small panic attack. I would watch MTV's show 16 and Pregnant , because ha these were girls I could sorta relate to so I watched it , but when it got to the whole labor part of the show...I started to cry I got so freaked out! I figured that I was such a baby myself how was I going to bring one into this world. Those last few weeks before I was due I was so panicked. Like two weeks before I was due I went to the doctors and ha I was dilated to a 3...hearing that made this whole thing a reality!
I had always pictured my whole pregnancy with a loving husband by my side the whole time, both of us getting excited about our new baby coming into this world, him calming my fear of all aspects of labor. Instead I had my mom by my side the whole time, which was probably just as good since she had been through having 3 kids. I am so grateful for my mom helping me out through out the whole pregnancy and now we were getting ready for the labor..the end of the pregnancy.
Soon the weeks started to count down, then the weeks, then the days. Me being super freaked out by needles or pain of any kind the thought of labor put me into tears and a small panic attack. I would watch MTV's show 16 and Pregnant , because ha these were girls I could sorta relate to so I watched it , but when it got to the whole labor part of the show...I started to cry I got so freaked out! I figured that I was such a baby myself how was I going to bring one into this world. Those last few weeks before I was due I was so panicked. Like two weeks before I was due I went to the doctors and ha I was dilated to a 3...hearing that made this whole thing a reality!
I had always pictured my whole pregnancy with a loving husband by my side the whole time, both of us getting excited about our new baby coming into this world, him calming my fear of all aspects of labor. Instead I had my mom by my side the whole time, which was probably just as good since she had been through having 3 kids. I am so grateful for my mom helping me out through out the whole pregnancy and now we were getting ready for the labor..the end of the pregnancy.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Chapter 8 All done
Wow its been a long time. Life gets crazyy! Anyway after my Sr. Ball, Christmas rolled around. It was nice to be away from school and everyone. I was really starting to show how pregnant I was, and walking around with a basket ball belly is really hard to do when your in a school full of skinny girls, it did not help my already pretty low self esteem. I got a few baby things for Christmas, it got me super excited for the baby to get here.
When I would get back to school I only had two weeks until I was scheduled to graduate a semester early. I had to take some online classes to get all my credits in on time. It was hard to graduate early, not just because the extra classes, but when I was gone I was pretty much gone. I knew my friends would slowly forget I was around, I would be home all day with nothing to do, and I wasnt ready to just be done. Ya, I was sick of the classes, and the drama, but being done with high school is a big thing and when you dont have more schooling right after to look forward to, it is hard.
Those two weeks flew by. Before I knew it, my teachers were signing me out of their classes, and I was saying good bye. I stalled it out as long as I could. After a few hours of checking out, of classes, I was walking into the office to really check out. I couldnt believe I was going to be done. I gave them my paper and all they said was we will let you know about graduation in a few months. Then all I had to do was walk out the doors. As I walked out of the doors all I could do was start to cry. I cried all the way to my car. I went to go visit my mom at her school and as I was driving there I past a cop car, I had been Career experiencing at the police station, and I LOVED it, so seeing that made me cry even more.
Being done with High school was a good thing and a hard thing to do. I was now a 17 year old High School graduate, with no job, very few friends, and now a whole lot of time to prepare for this little girl soon on her way.
When I would get back to school I only had two weeks until I was scheduled to graduate a semester early. I had to take some online classes to get all my credits in on time. It was hard to graduate early, not just because the extra classes, but when I was gone I was pretty much gone. I knew my friends would slowly forget I was around, I would be home all day with nothing to do, and I wasnt ready to just be done. Ya, I was sick of the classes, and the drama, but being done with high school is a big thing and when you dont have more schooling right after to look forward to, it is hard.
Those two weeks flew by. Before I knew it, my teachers were signing me out of their classes, and I was saying good bye. I stalled it out as long as I could. After a few hours of checking out, of classes, I was walking into the office to really check out. I couldnt believe I was going to be done. I gave them my paper and all they said was we will let you know about graduation in a few months. Then all I had to do was walk out the doors. As I walked out of the doors all I could do was start to cry. I cried all the way to my car. I went to go visit my mom at her school and as I was driving there I past a cop car, I had been Career experiencing at the police station, and I LOVED it, so seeing that made me cry even more.
Being done with High school was a good thing and a hard thing to do. I was now a 17 year old High School graduate, with no job, very few friends, and now a whole lot of time to prepare for this little girl soon on her way.
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